Okay so you think you have mastered Scot's. Well like all languages Scot's has its dialects, this one is Glaswegian. You thought Scot's was bad, well Glaswegian takes the biscuit!

Imagine this dialogue between a poash wummin an a wee bachle ( a small street urchin) Please note both speakers understand each other perfectly

" May I speak to your father, sonny?"
"Och ma farra, went oot when ma murra cam in."
"Then perhaps I could see your mother."
"Naw, she went oot when ma brurra cam in."
"Oh well, I'll have a word with your brother."
"He went oot when ma urra brurra cam in"
"Dear me! May I see your other brother?"
" Naw, he went oot when Ah cam in."
"Isn't there anyone in the house I can talk to?"
"Och, issiz no ra hoose, missiz, issiz ra cloazit!"
( This is not the house madam, this is the toilet)

Some words sound distinctly English but have a completely different meaning in Glesga. The word knackered in English simply means tired; in Glasgow it refers to tiredness after sex. Tart is another word which changes its meaning when moved from London to Glasgow. Picture the scene, a pub with a turn on and the compare introduces the next act.

" Noo lads, here a rale treat fur yiz. Oor nix singer is a young skil-teachur fae Auchinshogle Acudemy. Noo gie ra wee tart a big haun"

After her performance the 'lads cheered and whistled and the compare was heard to rebuke
" Ah shouldnae huv tae tell yous gents that artissis is nut dugs fur tae be whisselt at!"

There are some characters whom any visitor to Glasgow should be aware of Noah, Nora and Nat

I dare say as time passes I will add to this page but for now I will leave you with a wee test. Translate the following dialogue into English. If you send me the correct translation I will send you a cyber certificate, which you can proudly display on you site!

In the old days before one man operated busses the tickets were collected by a clippie. This conversation is between a clippie and a woman getting on her bus

    Clippie"Ur thae wanes aw , or izziss a picnic?"
    Wummin"Thur awmines, an it's nae picnic"

Well how did you do? You can check and apply for this award by screiven tae me wi yir answers



This page is based on the book, "Tell it tae a Glaswegian", no author available ISBN 9 781852 171353

My old guest buik

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