As I Was Going Out One Day
(anon)
As I was going out one day
My head fell of and rolled away
But when I saw it was gone
I picked it up and put it on
And when I got into the street
A fellow cried,look at your feet
I Looked at them and sadly said
I've left them both asleep in bed!
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Hippopotamus
By Robert Hiedbreder (Oxford Uni press 1985)
You see .......................
wheels on a car,
and on a train,
wheels on a truck,
and on a jumbo plane.
You see............................
Wheels on a van,
a bike, a bus,
but you don't see wheels,
on a Hippopotamus.
UNLESS SHE'S ROLLER SKATING !!
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Laurie and Dorrie
Kit Wright
The first thing that you'll notice if
You meet my Uncle Laurie
Is how, whatever else he does,
He can't stop saying sorry.
He springs from bed at 5 a.m.
As birds begin to waken,
Cries, No offence intended, lads -
Likewise, I hope, none taken !
This drives his wife, my Auntie Dorrie,Mad.
It is not surprising
She grabs him by the throat and screeches,
Stop apologizing !
My Uncle, who is a little deaf,
Says, Sorry? Sorry, Dorrie?
For goodness sake, Auntie Dorrie screams,
Stop saying sorry, Laurie !
Sorry, dear? stop saying what?
SORRY ! Laurie's shaken
No need to be, my dear,' he says
For no offence is taken.
Likewise I'm sure that there was none
Intended on your part.
Dear Lord, Aunt Dorrie breathes,
what can I do, where do I start?
Then Oh, I see , says Uncle L.,
You mean stop saying sorry!
I'm sorry to have caused offence -
Oops ! Er . . . sorry, Dorrie!
I Know A Man
By Spike Milligan
I know a man
Who's back to front
The strangest man I've seen.
But he knows where he has been.
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Little Robot
By Robert Hiedbreder (Oxford Uni press 1985)
I'm a little Robot,
Wires make me talk.
I'm a little Robot,
Wires make me talk.
I'm a little Robot,
Wires bend my knees.
I'm a little Robot,
Wires make me sneeze.
AAAACHOOOOOO!
I'm a little Robot,
Wires make me work.
So if you ever cross them
I'll probably go BERSERK!
ZOING ZOING BOINK !
ZOING ZOING BOINK !
ZING
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