Monday's Child 
 
                    Colin McNaughton

Monday's child is red and spotty, 
Tuesday's child wont use the potty. 
Wednesday's child wont go  to bed,
Thursday's child will not be fed. 
Friday's child breaks all his toys. 
Saturday's child makes an awful noise. 
And the child that was born on the seventh day, 
Is a pain in the neck like all the rest, OK.

Taken from "The Orchard Book of Funny Poems"
 compiled by Wendy Cope Orchard books,1993,  London 

Poem for a little Prince  
          By Michael Rosen      
         
            
Away in a palace,
 no crib for his  bed,  
 The little Prince Henry lays  
down his sweet head:

         


  

 
 Thirty days Hath September 
                    By Michael Rosen 

Thirty days hath September  
The rest I can't remember

  

 
Hey Diddle, Diddle  
                   Michael Rosen
 Hey diddle diddle, 
   The cat and the fiddle,  
   The cow jumped over the moon. 
   The little dog laughed to see such fun , 
 And the dish ran away with the chocolate biscuits. 

                      
Simple Simon  
 By Michael Rosen 

Simple Simon met a pie man going to the fair
   Said Simple Simon to the pieman
  "What have you got there?"
Said the pieman to Simple Simon 
 "I've got a load of pies"
 Said Simple Simon to the pieman  
 "Ugh -They're all covered in flies"

                


Nutter 
 
         (anon) 
            
The Moon*s a big white football  
The Sun*s a pound of butter.  
 The earth is going round the twist  
And I'm a little Nutter!

Little Miss Muffet Sat on Her Tuffet 
 
         (anon) 
Little Miss Muffet sat on her tuffet,  
  Eating her curds and whey,
 Along came a spider who sat down beside her, 
 And said "whatcha got in the bowl, sweetheart"

Telling  
 
         by Wendy Cope   
            
One, Two, Three, Four,
Telling Miss that Gary swore.
 Five, Six, Seven, Eight,
Now I haven*t got a mate

Mum is Having a Baby  
 
         by Colin McNaughton   
            
Mum is having a Baby! I'm shocked I'm all at sea!
What's she want another one for:
WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH ME ? 

Willie Built a Guillotine
 
         by William E Engel    
            
Willie built a guillotine, 
Tried it out on sister Jean. 
Said mother as she got the mop: 
These messy games have got to stop !
 
Taken from  "The Orchard Book of Funny Poems", 
compiled by Wendy Cope Orchard books, 1993,  London 

Friends of the Earth 
 
         by Rodger McGough    
            
Ecology Jim was a friend of the earth 
But earth was no friend of Jim's 
 when living he covered all of it  
 Now it covers all of him. 

The Gofongo  
 
         by Spike Milligan   
            
The Gofongo, if you please,  
 Is a fish with singing knees.  
 And a tail that plays   
 The Spanish clarionet.
He has toes that whistle tunes 
 And explode like toy balloons.  
Hence his many, 
 Many visits to the vet.
The Gofongo, when he likes,  
  Swallows jam and rusty bikes,   
 Orange pips and treacle   
 Pudding boiled in glue.
He loves chips with rusty nails,  
And can swallow Iron nails  
That is why they can not keep one in a zoo 

But Gofongo as a pet  
Would cause panic and regret.
People tried it and were 
 Nearly driven balmy
For once inside the house   
 He screams, I'm a Jewish mouse. 
And joins the Arab army! 

Tragedy  
 
         by W Cheney (age 10)   
            
The ship was sailing 
On the sea  
The crew were waiting for their tea.
The Ship was tossing  
Up and down  
The toast was getting very brown 
When, suddenely  
The ship o*erturned,
The toast was very badly burned

An Attempt at Unrhymed Verse  
         by Wendy Cope  
            
People tell you all the time,  
Poems don*t have to rhyme.  
 It's often better if they don*t  
And I*m determined this one won't....Oh dear 
Never mind I*ll start again.  
 Busy busy with my pen.....cil 
 I can do it if I try-   
 Easy peasy pudding and gherkins.
Writing verse is so much fun, 
Cheering as the summer weather,  
Makes you feel alert and bright, 
Especially when you get it more or less the way you want it.